Walking this morning, my wife began to discuss forgiveness. Specifically, our role in relationships and our call to forgive others. Jesus discusses forgiveness many times in the gospels. When we read these passages such as the one in Matthew 6:14–15 we are often challenged by Christ’s words:
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Is our forgiveness and entry into communion with God contingent on our own forgiving of others? Does this not add works to the saving work of Christ accomplished on the cross and through His conquering of death and sin?
I can understand the confusion. It is clear throughout the gospel that our forgiving others is a big deal to Jesus. After all He came to forgive our sin by taking it upon himself. Jesus wants those who claim his name to reflect his character and forgiveness is one of those traits.
So, what can we say here? Is Jesus saying we can only be forgiven when we forgive? When we read these passages this way, we flip the order God intended. The unrepentant person, while capable of letting things go, of forgiving, do this out of self-interest, not as Jesus calls us to forgive as he forgives with grace and selflessness. That is how Christ forgave as he offered himself up on the cross.
Jesus wants those who claim his name to reflect his character and forgiveness is one of those traits.
A repentant heart is required to truly be forgiving in spirit and nature. It is the action of the Holy Spirit that indwells us that allows us to forgive in an unselfish and God centered way. To forgive we must have first been forgiven. This is the heart of God that would allow him to die for us even while we were still far off – while we were sinners and divorced from him (Romans 5:8).
What is so special about forgiveness as Christ calls us to forgive? It is the act of forgiveness “as God in Christ forgave” us. It means we absorb the cost, refuse vengeance, and seek reconciliation when wise and possible. It becomes a forgiveness driven by faith, because we have been shown mercy from the hand of God. Finally, it is permanent and from the heart. We do not pretend nothing happened; rather, we release our claim to personal retribution and instead pray for the offender’s good. (Romans 12:20, Matthew 5:39)
What if we cannot forgive? What if that thing that so greatly hurts or offends us just cannot be forgiven? I think this is a real problem that exists in the body of Christ. The first question one must ask is whether the Spirit of God really dwells within you. Colossians 3 tells us that if we are covered by the blood of Christ, then we are to live as new creatures which God makes as a result of our salvation in Him. As new creatures Paul says we should:
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3:13)
If we are unable to forgive as we have been forgiven, then we may not possess new life. We should examine ourselves closely. Are we truly forgiven? If not, then we must come to Him on our knees and ask for His forgiveness and repentance from our inability to forgive. As Jesus told those he healed and forgave – we should go and sin no more.
It is possible to have a hard heart, unable to forgive while being a new creature, saved by his Holy love. This is a heart condition that Paul calls carnality – living in the flesh. He specifically addresses the Christians in Corinth this way in 1 Corinthians 3:1 where he says:
“I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ.“
Paul is concerned that the Christians (they were definably saved – as he addresses them as “Bothers”) are living as dead – in affective lives in the service of the kingdom. This is where you are if you are truly saved but unable to forgive.
In this state your communion with God is cut off, your peace suffers. There is no rest in Christ, and your life bears no fruit. Jesus has a warning to those who fail to bear fruit as we see in John 15:5-6:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.”
This is an alarming passage for those who are not living for Christ, and it should be. It applies to Christians. Jesus desires that we live in Him and produce fruit because of our new life we have been given. Jesus is not teaching loss of salvation; rather, as Paul notes in 1 Corinthians 11, the Lord may discipline severely, even to the point that ‘some have fallen asleep,’ to protect His church from further harm.
Jesus desires that we live in Him and produce fruit because of our new life we have been given.
If you are a child of the living God, then you are called to repentance. Repentance is the act of turning from sin and moving toward God. We do this when we come to salvation and we must always be repenting, putting to death the sinful man and putting on the new man. This is the process of sanctification – becoming more like Christ. We must be doing this every day.
So, I would encourage you, child of God who struggles with forgiveness to embrace 1 John 1:9 and confess the sin and then ask Him to give you a forgiving spirit. If you do not know Him as your savior – then this is the time. He is calling to you to embrace His forgiveness so that you can also forgive.
