Part III – Trusting God in the Storm
I was very angry with God in the weeks following the loss of our daughter. Not only that, but I also had the audacity to accuse him – the creator and sustainer of the universe – of not being a good God. I was really hurting and felt that God had done wrong against me. Was it ok that I was angry with God?
I expressed my anger to some friends during that period. They told me that God was a big God, and he could take it, that it would be ok. No doubt that God is a big God, but what about the part about it being ok? Was it?
Bad thinking is rooted in two common misconceptions about God
Let’s examine this premise. We know that when calamity strikes, and we experience loss our first impulse is to cry out to God – “Why?” What are we really asking? This is a personal question born out of bad thinking – what we are really saying is – “Why are you letting this happen to me, God?”
The bad thinking is rooted in two common misconceptions about God. First, as followers of God we feel that life should be easy, and that God will shield us from pain. We often go so far as to believe that He owes us that. So, when tragedy comes, anger toward Him for failing us follows. Second, we don’t fully comprehend God’s sovereignty and complete control of all that He has created which results in our doubting His ability to direct our circumstances and the actions of those around us.
We see this bad thinking all the time in ourselves and others around us. They take credit for the good that comes their way and circumstances that favor them, but when some disaster befalls them, they are quick to blame God for their situation. In essence blaming Him for letting something escape His control and come to a disastrous end.
This is where I landed. Angry that God let this tragedy befall us, that He did not keep his bargain as I saw it. Surely, he promised me a good life free of this kind of pain. Isn’t that what I read in Romans 8:28, Philippians 4:19 and John 10:10.
Did you look up those verses? It seems like God wants us to have a full life, that He will work everything out for our good as He provides according to His riches. If you listen to Joel Osteen, you could easily believe this to be the truth. I was not quite in the same place – I knew God did not promise us a trouble-free life, but I was still angry. While I was willing to ask God “why” I was not asking myself “why” – as in why I felt entitled to be angry.
The reality is that I had fallen into the trap mentioned above. I felt God should be sparing me from this kind of heartache and since He did not, I was unconvinced that He was truly good, truly sovereign over all things.
It’s natural to feel hurt or frustration toward God during hard times but an honest reading of God’s Word shows us that anger is not given to us as an example in response to times of suffering or calamity. Scripture does show us many of God’s chosen people expressing raw emotions in response to suffering. Take as an example the prayers of David as he cries out in Psalm 13 and Psalm 51. Through these God has demonstrated a way to honestly communicate our pain while still holding onto hope. This honest expression is part of our relationship with God.
When our anger is rooted in selfishness, it not only undermines our faith but also offers the enemy a foothold in our lives.
Equally scripture informs us regarding righteous anger as we see when Jesus overturns the tables of the traders in the temple in Mark 11:15-18. In this passage we see that that anger aligned with God’s truth—when expressed in ways that honor His righteousness—can be appropriate. Paul gives us additional guidance in Ephesians 4:26-27:
Paul recognizes that anger is an emotion we will have as he guides us in the right ways of managing anger in a godly manner and to avoid sinning because of it.
Elsewhere Paul warns us against letting our anger turn into sin as well. Galatians 5:19-21 calls on believers to set aside behaviors that are not aligned with God’s will, including an inappropriate or ungodly anger. When our anger is rooted in selfishness, it not only undermines our faith but also offers the enemy a foothold in our lives.
What does that mean to have our anger rooted in selfishness? It means simply that our anger is serving us. It is no longer righteous but rather self-centered serving us as its master and not the will of God. This anger has become sinful.
As I look back on those weeks spent angry with God, blaming Him for my daughter’s death and for not making good on what I believed His promises to me were, I realize that my anger was serving only myself. I was a victim of bad thinking. In fact, my bad thinking had created in my mind a God that was as far from the real God as anything could ever be.
Yes, this anger was sin. In almost all cases anger with God will be sinful because it is almost always borne out of bad thinking and a warped idea of who God really is. How can having a right view of God bring an end to the anger and an acceptance of the situation?
Let’s explore that as we dive into who God really is, and the attributes that make Him truly trustworthy in our next installment: Qualities that make God trustworthy: Goodness, wisdom, sovereignty.
